I've been thinking a lot lately about the way I live my life. Not just the overall state of major concerns like health and finances,  but just the overall attitude with which I approach my day, and whether I'm happy with the current state of affairs. 

Something I've really come to notice over the past year is just how often I'm on autopilot. I will lose myself in thought, in a podcast or audiobook, a Facebook post, an Instagram feed, a TikTok account, and look up and realize it's midnight and I'm wondering where the time went. 

I tend to procrastinate, and there are a lot of factors that play into this, but the biggest one for me has always been perfectionism. I want things to be as ideal as possible, and so instead of immediately seizing the moment and giving myself that relaxing facial, I decide to wait until after dinner because I will have the whole evening ahead of me, or until Owen wakes up from his nap because sometimes he likes to join me, or until after I've finished doing dishes or folding laundry because...because...because...

There are always reasons to wait, and I think I put so much emphasis on getting things perfect because I do them so infrequently! If you rarely do a nice thing like give yourself a facial, of course you're going to want to make it a whole big thing. But if it's something you do once or twice a week, it stops being this Event that you hang expectations on, and just becomes one of the many nice things you do for yourself.

I have decided to try and do nice things for myself before getting all the other chores and errands done. They will still be there, and training my brain that the circumstances don't have to be absolutely ideal to make time for myself will help get me in the habit of doing it, and help me to see this type of self-care as less of a big-deal, once-a-month event.

So here are some nice things I'd like to do by the end of the month: 

• a long hot shower with body scrub and shave, followed by all-over body butter or lotion
• a deep oil facial cleanse, followed by mud masque (and perhaps a Beta Hydroxy masque)
• wear a silky nightgown and beautiful robe to lounge on the couch instead of pajamas
• make a new cocktail and serve it in a stemmed glass on my gold and mirror side table
• light a fire, put on some soft classical music, put my phone on DND, and read for an hour
• take a scented bath with candles and a book 
• wear a full face of makeup, full jewelry, the works, even if I don't plan to leave the house
• eat a meal I've prepared with no phone or television or podcasts
• take tea out in the yard and soak up some sunshine for an hour or two
• get up and go on a sunny morning walk with Pippin 
• do some deep stretching for my hips and back, either in bed or on a yoga mat
• make a delicious sweet treat, something just because I like it